Wendig Flash Challenge Generated Titles

Operation Nervous God

“OH MY ME! ” The Almighty bellowed and fled the throne room in a cloud of holy dust.
The Arch Angel Michael, who had been quietly dozing in the heavenly afternoon, leapt to his feet wildly swinging his mighty sword in all directions and spinning in place to face the threat head on. He saw no enemy before him but had a clear view of the Host Of Host’s celestial backside disappearing around the corner of the palace wall. Fast.

“Good grief” he muttered and took up the chase.

Two blocks later he was joined by The Keeper Of The Pearly Gates who raced along beside him.

“Hi, Mike,” Saint Peter said. “What’s up?”

The warrior angel glanced at his companion as they thundered down the golden cobblestones.

“Hi Pete,” he said, pointing. “I’m trying to catch up to His nibs there before He falls and hurts Himself.”

Just then the Fleeing Deity glanced over his shoulder, put on a burst of impossible speed and disappeared over the Eternal Horizon. The pair came to a halt and stood, bent over with their hands on their immortal knees, puffing and huffing.

“No point in chasing Him if He doesn’t want to be caught,” Peter said.
“Yeah,” his companion panted. “For a guy as old as Him, He’s got a lot of quick going on.”

The Gate Keeper nodded, groaning as he straightened up. “Well,” he said. “What brought it on this time? Lucifer acting out again? Loki, maybe?’

Michel peered at the distant dust cloud.

“No. He was reading His printed out e-mails and suddenly leaped into the air yelling like the Minotaur with his, uh, horn, in a crack and scrammed.”

“What did the e-mail say?”

“Beats me.” Michael rummaged in his robe for a moment, pulled out a sheet of copier paper and handed it over. “Here.”

Peter scanned rapidly down the page. “Just another arrival and departure list,” he said. “Wait a minute.”
He re-read a single line, half way down the page and with wide eyes, handed the paper over to his friend. “Look,” he said.

The Protecting Angel read the name — and blanched.

“Her!” He said. “Arriving today. In fifteen minutes.”

The Gate Keeper nodded, shuddering all over.

“Arriving from Earth. Celestial flight number 13. The Holy Mother Mary’s sister.”

“No wonder He ran,” said Michael. You remember what SHE called Him last time?”

Peter nodded again. In fact his head had been nodding — wobbling rather — since he’d read the name on the manifest.

“Yeah,” he said. And I remember what she called YOU too.” His wings drooped and a feather fell loose to the ground. “And I most especially recall what she called ME.”

The angels said not a word more, but turned and raced after their boss.

The manifest drifted slowly to the golden sands of Main Street.

After all, as is known to the whole of creation, when the Auntie Christ comes to town, the angels flee.

15 Responses to “Wendig Flash Challenge Generated Titles”

  1. Brian Panowich Says:

    Nice. Punchline was laugh out loud funny

  2. Aj, you are divine! And, your imagination is sublime. Thank you for the best time I’ve had all day.

  3. Not Auntie Mame, but that other dame . . . pun and punchline delivered with a feather-dropping wallop . . . ahhh, but what divine lines to get there — Good God, β€œFor a guy as old as Him, He’s got a lot of quick going on.”

    ~ My blessings, my out-of-the-world friend,
    ~ Absolutely*Kate

  4. thanks ‘Jellical Kat (ie).:)

  5. Brilliantly conceived. And wonderfully delivered Bill.

  6. You got me! Thanks for a good twister!

  7. Very funny, love the punch line.

  8. AJ,

    I finally got around to finishing the story. I had started a couple days ago and then got sidetracked and kept meaning to go back and go back but kept getting pulled aside.

    I echo the comments above. And, yes, the ending did make me groan but it was well-earned and one of those good groans.

  9. Merging religion with insight. That’s Bill and his brilliant revolutioj, great write.

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