Wendig Challenge: Journey

Killing Field

It had been a long trip from the big city to the quiet of forest and farmland.
He was a little man and they had no trouble lifting him from the trunk.
A pistol prodded his back.
“Walk,” a flat voice said.
“You got it wrong,” he said.
The gun prodded again. He walked.
“Please,” he said to no one — maybe God.
“Stop.”
A voice dark as bottomland gumbo. Time froze.
The little man looked for escape. He was frozen too.
“You have planted too much in my field,” the voice said.
Around him . . . things . . . rose dripping from the muck.
There were screams. Then silence.
“Thank God,” he said.
“I am not He,” the voice answered.
And pulled him down.

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19 Responses to “Wendig Challenge: Journey”

  1. Oh dark, very visual and disturbing, well done!

  2. Thanks Lady H. Glad you liked it.

  3. AJ few can evoke so much with a few words. Your line dark as bottomland gumbo says so much, this is great tight writing.

  4. Thank you, Richard. A compliment from the master of darkness is always appreciated.

  5. Graham Smith Says:

    Another cracker from a master wordsmith. Deep, dark and deadly writing that is tighter than a fat lass’s waistband. Well done Aj

  6. Eek! “Around him…things…rose dripping from the mud.” Just enough to give me nightmares.

  7. Thank you. Ellen. Those short things are fun, aren’t they?

  8. There’s some hardboiled poetry for ya. Badass yet poignant.

  9. Great writing! Makes you wonder what, exactly, was planted in those fields. Deep, poignant, and enough to give me nightmares. Well done!

  10. That’s an incredible amount of story in so few words. I think you say as much with the words you don’t write as with the ones you do. Excellent work!

  11. Like others who’ve posted above me I am quite impressed by what you did with a mere 134 words. I’m inspired to see how I can improve my own storytelling skills by embracing brevity.

  12. Amazing story in so few words!

  13. Louise, thank you again.
    Jeff, you’ve already got mad skills. Thanks man.

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